I'm about to fire the writers of my life on account of being completely unfair.
My friend Issy keeps flirting with me. I don't like him like that, at all. He's been at it for about a year now, and it's just unwanted.
I feel like crying so much. I'm seriously torn between S and this new guy I'll call N. I only just met him, but I already feel like I've known him forever. We go to all the same cons, hell we've even been in the same ROOM at least 5 times. He messaged me on OK Cupid 2 days ago, and that night we were up all night just talking to each other. I feel like he understands me more than anyone I've met in a long time. It helps that he's 18, really cute, goes to cons, is a Brony and likes Marble Hornets.
So what's stopping me from going for it? S. I still have really strong feelings for him, and he seems to have the same for me. But he has a GIRLFRIEND, and lives in ENGLAND. I know that the obvious choice is that I should go try and go for N, but I feel like if I did that I'd be hurting myself and S.
It doesn't help that S has a heart condition where if he gets depressed he gets a mini-heart attack. If I told him about this, he's probably have one. I can't live with myself knowing that I could put him in the hospital. I just don't know what to do.
I get to meet N at Seishun Con. That weekend cannot come faster.
~R
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